The Surprising Lessons Only The Eldest Among Us Know
What if real success is found in the wisdom of those who've lived through it all?
In our busy world, it's all too easy to overlook the wisdom of those who have lived through decades of change. In the United States, our elders often find themselves tucked away in nursing homes or retirement communities, their voices muted despite having so much to share. Yet, if we take the time to really listen, their experiences might just hold the key to a more meaningful future.
I recently read an article about Methodist pastor Lydia Sohn, who spent time talking with her eldest congregants, those in their nineties, and discovered something striking: their fondest memories weren't about climbing the career ladder or racking up accolades. Instead, they spoke of everyday moments—a shared laugh with family, quiet conversations with old friends, things to them that made life truly worthwhile.
Social psychologist Megan Shen’s work with terminally ill patients supports this perspective. Many of these individuals don’t regret the long hours they devoted to work; they regret having lost sight of what really matters. Similarly, palliative caregiver Bronnie Ware observed that the regrets of the dying are less about missed professional opportunities and more about a life lived out of sync with one’s true self. In her observations, she found that many people wished they had done the following:
Lived Authentically: They regretted not having the courage to live a life true to themselves rather than conforming to the expectations of others.
Worked Less: Many wished they hadn’t worked so hard, realizing that excessive work often came at the expense of what truly mattered.
Expressed Their Feelings: There was regret over not having had the courage to share their true feelings with others.
Stayed Connected: They lamented losing touch with friends and not making an effort to maintain meaningful relationships.
Allowed Themselves to Be Happy: Many wished they had let themselves be happier, rather than being bogged down by worries and the need for external validation.
When we step back and view education as more than formal schooling, we begin to see it as a lifelong process—a chance to learn from every experience and every person we encounter. Our elders, often sidelined in modern society, have so much to offer. Their experiences remind us that success isn’t solely defined by academic scores or professional accolades. Instead, true success is measured by the depth of our relationships and the authenticity with which we live our lives.
By taking the time to listen to those who have weathered decades of change, we open ourselves to insights that can reshape our own paths. Their stories provide a counterintuitive blueprint for living—a reminder that the most valuable lessons often come from the quiet wisdom of those who have already seen life’s full arc. In a world fixated on relentless progress, perhaps the real key to a fulfilling future lies in embracing the gentle, profound truths our elders have to share.